I is nawt Aneetah Blakes - I dyes my hair like Merrie Gentries nao!
Do you like reading books that have thin plots, inplausible story lines and absurd sextapositions with ridiculous avatars? Welcome to the Anita Blake Merry Gentry Series!
(Note: This is the complete collection as Hamilton said as of this month that she won\'t be writing anymore in the series, so if you\'re a fan grab this now.)
From the fatuous mind of Laurell K. Hamilton, The Menospausal Mistress of Extremely SiIly Porn, comes Princess Meredith NicEssus, otherwise known as Merry Gentry
. Pincess of faerie, she could have been queen but decided not to take the job. She pretends to be a private eye but never really actually works. Instead she just has a lot of awkward, poorly written sex with strange, unusual characters. She has ladybumps, mama bits and maaagic. What more could you want?
Before you even say it, I could not make this up. This woman tries so hard to be cool that it\'s embarrassing. You think I\'m kidding? This Comedy Piñata just keeps pouring candy...
Don\'t be taken in by the blurbs suggesting a plot line for each book. It\'s a lie. The flimsiest fragments of what might have been a story are just there to barely house the badly-written silly porn. You know, the stuff you dreamed up freshman year of high school when you were stoned? In typical Hemilton style, we get nauseatingly detailed descriptions of everyone\'s fantastical hair and eye colour, kind of like a Care Bear Orgy, and she often forgets the logistics of her own characters and the world she\'s created for them.
The themes generally involve having a job you don\'t really work, living in a world that revolves round you, screwing your way to power and using men to hold it. Sound familiar Merry Gentry fans? Yeah. That pretty much sums up every book in the series. You\'ve been warned, so don\'t snark at me in the comments section, thank you very much. Book 1 - A Kiss of Shadows
She pretends to be a private investigator specializing in supernatural crime but she\'s really a faerie princess in hiding. Her ebul aunt wants her back in da faerie wurld and the penalty for refusal is death. But don\'t worry, nothing really happens that doesn\'t revolve around a man or two. Or three. Book 2 - A Caress of Twilight
"I am Princess Meredith, heir to a throne--if I can stay alive long enough to claim it." Blah, blah blah. People we don\'t know or care about die while she pretends to be on a case but gets laid a lot instead. Whew, that was close! But what\'s new here with the Every-Colour-of-the-Rainbow Army of Lovers? Nothing, of course, just more of them. Book 3 - Seduced By Moonlight
It\'s now evident we have the same problems as with the Anita Blake novels: Awkward sex interferes with dodgy "stories" and the heroine gets a new super power with every boffing. It\'s all dry sex, mindless talk, redundant sex talk, mechanical and often stupid sex and blithering, frilly descriptions of pretty eyes/wings/hair/skin. What actually happens? Nobody cares anymore. Book 4 - A Stroke Of Midnight
Painfully obvious that LKH\'s second Mary Sue has gone the way of Anita Blake, it\'s perhaps arguably worse with its vague plot attempts smothered by more power accrued through even more horrifyingly stupid sex. Lingering fans turned like the French Revolution and the Post-It Note synopsis below pretty much covers it.
<div class="quote">Dear Diary,
Plot? What plot? I\'m having sects and yer juss jeluss whiner babeez!
WORSHIP ME NAO!
Laurell K. Hamilton Merry "Sects Gawdess" Gentry</div>Books 5 - 8 are more of the same but they\'re in there for you. Download away! Want more LKH hilarity?Beauty: An Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter Outtake (ABVH 20.5) The Anita Blake Series Collection